Showing posts with label Anxiety. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Anxiety. Show all posts

Thursday, September 19, 2013

It Has Been One of THOSE Days! (June 2013)

It Has Been One of THOSE Days!

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We all have days that make you wonder if you shouldn’t go back home and start over……or go back to bed.  It seems like we had one like that today at work.
Monday.  Walk in and find that two offices have been flooded due to who-knows-what….some leaking pipes or something.  It ruined a few things in the payroll office.  There were guys here cleaning up the mess, setting up fans and looking to repair the mess.  Instantly, when you walk near the place, you smell the mildew/moisture – which is not a good thing for some of us (me included) who have allergies to such ‘aromas’.  Top that with the cleaning products that permeated the air – which triggered more problems for some very highly sensitive folks in the office.  All of that made for some pretty miserable people.
Add to that – our phone system was down.  Tech guys didn’t know why. They rigged up a phone that allowed the external calls to continue coming in – but they couldn’t be transferred or place on hold, etc.  Therefore the receptionists had to take messages and/or ask the caller to call the employee’s cell phone (company phones, not personal).  Can you spell S-T-R-E-S-S?
And finally – a dear, beloved man that our company has worked closely with for many, many years passed away this weekend.  His funeral was today.  Several folks are greatly saddened by this.
I must say though – everyone handled the chaotic morning better than some places I’ve worked before.  Everyone simply got to work doing what was necessary.  And ultimately it smoothed out by the end of the day – for the most part. 
Yes, it has been one of those days, for sure.
Then there is my friend.  She and I email back and forth to check in on each other from time to time.  She is ‘stressed’ she says.  I say she is depressed.  Either way, she doesn’t sound good.  I worry – no, I am concerned about her – because she tends to take on unnecessary burdens.  She is a people-pleaser and therefore she takes on too many things trying to ‘help’ others at the expense of her own well-being.  She means well.  She is a good person.  But she needs to stop doing that.
Most of our conversations consist of her looking to escape by moving somewhere else.  I’ve known her for over 20 years and she has always wanted to leave town.  She did once…for a while and then she came back.  But she still dreams of leaving.  I personally think she is looking for things to be ‘better’ in another place rather than facing what the real problem is in her life.  Do I know what her ‘problem’ is?  No.  That’s not my expertise – but it seems to me that she is looking to fill a huge void in her life with material things rather than with what she really needs.
I believe she has a lot of self-esteem issues.  I believe she needs a closer relationship with God – let Him fill that void.  But she’s not there yet.  She ‘searches’ by visiting different churches every week – but can’t seem to land anywhere. And she believes she is ‘good’ in this area – and honestly, who am I to judge?
I care deeply for her – and I’m concerned greatly.  I pray for her.  I don’t ‘worry’ because that is not of God – and I know that He knows better than I what she needs and what she needs to learn on her journey.  She and I have little in common – we don’t even know why or how we became friends actually.  We are both single moms – but her kids are grown.  I have one grown and one 7-year-old. So we don’t really hang out or do anything together.  We communicate by email and sometimes by phone and that’s it.
Since we don’t hang like best friends normally do – I choose my words carefully with her so as not to sound like I’m preaching.  After all, I’m on my own journey (hence the name of my blog).  But I do try my best to be encouraging and uplifting when I can.  But here’s the kicker…
I have to be careful so as not to be taken down the negativity road myself.  What I mean is – have you ever been around people who want to dwell in the negative all of the time!?  If you have, you know how draining that can be.  You know how it can ‘rub off’ on you if you aren’t careful.  Since I come by negativity very naturally myself – it takes real effort to keep myself from going there.  So when I find myself banging up against that wall with her – I try to be encouraging, she shoots it down, I try another angle, she finds something wrong with it too…I simply have to step back, and remind myself of the Truth.  And remember that He is in control and that it is not up to me to do or fix her situation. 
If God chooses to use me to be a testimony or something – that’s awesome!  But that doesn’t mean that I am to ‘do’ anything – because that is ME controlling the situation again – or trying to at least.  See how I must self-talk all of the time because I find myself chasing my own tail!?  LOL – don’t worry, I’m not crazy yet. Just traveling along on my journey with my best friend – God!
But I do have a tremendous need for my vacation to hurry up already!!!!  I can hardly wait – mountains, fresh air, fresh water…..ahhhhh!  Can you see it, feel it, smell it!?!?  I have included pics I took on my last vacation with this post – this will give you an idea.

Isaiah 41:10 (NIV)
10 So do not fear, for I am with you;
    do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
    I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
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I WILL STAND AGAINST FEAR! (May 2013 Post)

I WILL STAND AGAINST FEAR!

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Today I listened to a message that lead me further into my health issues.  And I now have so much rolling around in my mind, I’m not sure that I can adequately write this in a manner to convey what I’m thinking and feeling.
What was revealed to me today is that Satan wants us to live in bondage of fear and anxiety (as I’ve mentioned in a previous post).  He uses these things to keep us from living God’s will.  We are instructed over and over in the bible that we are not to fear – so we know that fear is not of God.
In the message I heard, my pastor said ‘There is a difference between sickness and a spirit of sickness’.  Just stop and think about that for a minute.  If you haven’t had a chronic illness, this may not impact you quite as much as it has me.
This really hit home with me though.  Because I have been in such bad health and hurting for so long, I had finally given in to the fact that this would be the way the rest of my life would go.  I would simply have to find a way to ‘deal’ with the pain and fatigue and go on.  However, as I’ve mentioned before – I DON’T WANT TO LIVE THIS WAY!
The devil can hold us in bondage mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually or even socially.  We must remember that through Christ we have been set free.  It’s out birthright.  Our gift from God.  Our Father has done His part and given us the freedom.  We simply need to accept it.  To stand up and refuse to live in bondage any more!
If you think about it – this can be applied to anything you are battling in life.  Not just a health issue.  Are you under financial bondage? Pornography? What about drugs, alcohol, cutting, anger or depression?  How about negative self-talk?  I used to do that a lot.  I battled the inner voice telling me that I am a disappointment to God.
God will never bless fear-based decisions and therefore, we must CHOOSE to become absolutely intolerant to bondage.  We must stand against the bondage that Satan tries to put on us so that God can bless us for doing His will.
Here is an example on a personal level.  As many of you know, I am working not only on losing weight but mainly focusing on improved physical health by going through a detox program.  I actually did pretty well in the beginning – but before long, the symptoms of my fibromyalgia got worse than ever before!  I was in a very bad place.  I missed work. I wanted to give up.  I wanted to scrap the whole thing and go back to the way things were.
However, after much praying – God revealed to me that even though I was on the right track with the clean eating, I was listening to others instead of Him.  Once I understood and decided to hang in there – I have been attacked like you wouldn’t believe.  There is so much information coming at me from all sides – that it is not even possible to sort through it and know which information is correct!
But Satan has misjudged me.  Tell me I can’t do something and it makes me even more determined!  I am still standing against all that he is throwing my way and trusting in God alone.  GOD is my anchor.  He is my teacher.  He is walking me through this and I will be victorious because I choose God’s will.  God is leading me through this journey and I am not giving up.
Have a great week, everyone!  And, choose to stand strong!