Sometimes It Hurts First (May 2013 Post)

Sometimes It Hurts First

May7

As mentioned in my previous post – I am on the road to a better life, a better me.  I stumbled across a weight-loss program that focused more on the toxins etc in your body rather than the typical plans everyone is familiar with these days.  It teaches you how the things you put in your body such as preservatives, sugars, etc. can negatively affect the way your body functions.  It teaches you how to detox your system so you can get back on track.

SO – I decided to do the plan and get my system ‘cleaned out’ and refreshed – rebooted, if you will.  While building up to the actual detox process, you prep by eating nothing but vegetables and very lean chicken or fish.  No biggie – I like veggies and chicken!  I got this in the bag! Or so I thought….

Actually, you can’t have anything that has gluten, sugars, vinegar, grains.  Do you know how hard that is in reality!?!?!  It’s tough.  Every time I thought of something I could eat – I was wrong.  Don’t get me wrong – I have no problem with veggies at all – but after a while, it’s difficult to find variable ways to prepare them.  Even dressings are near impossible to find that don’t have at least vinegar in them.

Needless to say – I’ve struggled.  However, I did stick to it enough to lose some weight.  So next comes the detox.  I started it on Saturday and instantly I have had the worst fibromyalgia flare-up ever!  The pain has been almost unbearable. My brain is foggy and I can’t seem to think clearly or to focus properly.  I was starting to get concerned.

During this time, I struggled in my thought life – did I ‘misunderstand’ what I thought God was leading me to do concerning my weight and more importantly health issues?  Is this the wrong thing to do?  Am I once again trying to ‘do it on my own’?  I could drive myself crazy with all of the ‘what ifs’ – which means I was falling back into my old routine – and stressing over things – again!

I decided that I was going to stick this out and shut those chronic negative thoughts down immediately.  I contacted my doctor about what was going on and he explained that it is part of the process.  He called it Health Crisis – where your body is actually ridding itself of the toxins and garbage that has loaded up over the years.  BUT, if I stick with it, I will begin to start feeling much better and have increased energy.

SO – I am in constant prayer and seeking God’s hand in leading me through this new but difficult journey.  I realize that sometimes we must weather the difficult, the stuff that hurts in order to come out on top at the end.

Thank You, Father for being there for me.  Thank You for blessing me with the ability to become victorious!

Fibromyalgia - What a Pain!!

Literally.  It IS a real pain!

If you aren't familiar with Fibromyalgia - here is a brief video .

And, here is a laundry list of symptoms that go along with it - here.  You might be surprised - even if you are pretty sure you know about it.

So, I was diagnosed earlier this year.  My doctor didn't even want to give me that diagnosis.  He said that he truly believes in the disease - but hates putting that 'stigma' on people.  He understands the lack of compassion and understanding that people (including other doctors) have about it.

But, as he says - once you've run all the tests and tried all the 'cures' to what's ailing you.....sometimes there is nothing left to say.

I am not a person to get on the bandwagon and get involved with awareness groups etc.  But as I am learning more and more about the symptoms.....and can actually see where some of my symptoms were coming on EARLY in my life - I want to speak up a little.

I want others to be aware.  No - I DON'T want your sympathy.  Just your understanding that I may not be able to do all the things I would like to do....or that you would like me to do.

Heck - one of the reasons voiced by husband as to why he left us - is that HE believes I can/should fix this.  And I know that I can't control it at this point.

The good news is....that I believe that one can and should continue to see what works even temporarily for them and do it so you can enjoy life!  I for one take St. John's Wort every day - and it has helped more than any drug the doctor has tried so far.

But the BIGGEST change for me is that I am praying and having faith that God has healed me.  I know that I simply need to allow the healing to manifest in me....and that I may have some 'other issues' that I need to address in order to allow that healing to take place.  That's okay.  I'm learning.  And slowly, I am feeling better!

Sure, I still have bad days.....today hasn't started out the best, for example.  BUT - it's not as severe as it was in months past.  So I KNOW that God is working in my life!

Thank You, Father - for healing me and taking care of me as always!  If there are any other Fibro sufferers - I ask that You show them the healing powers of Your love and give them peace from the pain.

Amen.

Officially "Separated"

I guess I should first explain to you how I currently stand.  Then, in another blog or two, I will give a brief outline of my background/history.  And, if you care to, feel free to journey alone with me to see what God has in store for my life now!

My husband decided to walk out on me last week.  We weren't arguing or anything.  He just hops up all of a sudden, says he feels really bad - "but he just can't be here anymore."  What!?  "I just don't want to do this anymore.  I'm leaving."  Needless to say, I was left quite speechless for a bit.  Yes, we've been struggling for quite some time (which I will explain in later posts) - but we were laying there cuddling and watching television and BAM!  This happens out of the clear blue!

Please understand that I'm still reeling from all of this and am so exhausted I can hardly function.  So if I don't blog for a day or two in between at first - that would be the reason.  Hang with me.

Our beautiful Four-Year-Old son is not handling it perfectly....but is okay so far.  He tries real hard not to cry - he wants to be strong for his daddy.  But he's worn out - and I know its because of all of the stress.

My daughter (from a previous marriage) - is also on a roller-coaster of emotions too.  I don't think she realized how this would effect her. Again, because of the history here.....I will leave this alone until I can fill you in completely about her situation.

Part of the reasons for him walking out - is my health.  He sees "himself pushing me around in a wheelchair w/an oxygen tank in 5 years.  And he doesn't want that."  Okay - so let me clarify to you that I am in NO WAY in that bad a shape.  Yes, I have fibromyalgia - which means I am in constant pain.  BUT, I have found how to lessen it and make it tolerable.  And Yes, I am overweight.  But I don't have a lot of health issues related to it and I AM trying to lose some, thank you very much!

Again, I will say more later.  But wanted to just say that even thru the stuff that has been happening this week - I'm still receiving God's blessings!  I had been praying for Him to move in my life and to reveal a path for me.  And it's happening!

I can hardly wait to tell you about it!

Until next time....if you are a praying person, please pray for my family.  If not, that's okay - please stick around just the same.